Transforming Lives

Responsibility v Blame

Responsibility v Blame

I recently helped a client clear childhood trauma which was haunting him and resulted in much anger, suffering, sadness and blame.

As a child, his Mum could no longer look after him and as a result he was sent to relatives. He was 9 when this happened and too young to fully understand why and the distress his Mum was under.

At his new home, he looked after his Aunty (his foster Mum) and carried out his household duties. His Aunty had 2 daughters and needed a male figure around the house as her Husband worked away. He didn’t know how much he was valued and appreciated.

For him, he was rejected and abandoned. Unwanted by his Mum. Unwanted by his family. Unlovable. Abandoned.

He carried this belief all his life and the feeling of being unlovable, rejected, unwanted created great sadness in his heart and resulted in much dis-ease within the body. He had little awareness of the strength of his emotions and the power they had to inhabit his body and cause suffering.

He married and had a family of his own as this was what people did. He believed his role as a Father was to work and provide for his family. He knew little about emotional support as he never experienced it himself.
He drank alcohol as a release from this suffering and every so often his heart opened so he could take in the very breath of Life. He was so consumed by his emotions that he could not see the love he was being showered with by his own family.

He worked hard and partied hard unaware of the consequences of his actions. He was not educated in the mind body connection.

His wife was his slave. She looked after him and their children and the household. He could offer her no emotional support either. He took out his anger and hurt on her as she reminded him of his Mum. She accepted him and as life unfolded she better understood his suffering and loved him no less. She educated herself and asked for help so she could help him. She often asked him to let go of the past and appreciate what he did have. But he was so caught in his story, he could not let go.

She knew she needed to accept her life journey with him and be aware of her own emotions. She sought support so she could express herself without judgement.

From noticing the changes within his wife, he sought help to release the trauma.

What we did was Shamanic Journeying so he could be present whilst I did the clearing for him. He took a deep breath and smiled. I felt him breathe in Life.

What he learnt from this healing was how much of his life he had spent blaming others for his childhood experiences and how little responsibility he took for his own health and wellbeing.

He wished he had learnt this sooner so he could fully enjoy his life with his family rather than suffer during the marriage with his past.

I am deeply grateful to have been chosen to help him and his family.

This lead me to ask ‘Where in life, do people blame others for their life experiences?’ Most areas.
People blame the weather for their mood. They blame Monday for being negative. They blame colleagues, employers, family and friends for being dissatisfied for their life. They blame others for their body frame or size. They blame their ex partners for their loneliness. They blame their parents for their lack of self worth. They blame their teachers for not encouraging them. Ok. So some of this is warranted as a child. However, as an adult, isn’t it time to make a change?

People are far too busy blaming the external world for their unhappiness. The hurt from another’s actions, the sadness when longing for another. Yet. It is your own responsibility with how you show up and what you choose to do each day.

You have a choice. We live in a world which has a plethora of self-help books, courses and teachings. We have access to the internet, there’s so much free stuff out there to help improve our lives and enhance our wellbeing.
People will do well to stop blaming the economy, government, people, childhood and past stuff for their discord and start taking full responsibility for their own health and wellbeing. Your happiness is important on this planet. It truly is.

Do the research, ask for help and be open to receiving help. You have never been alone. When you take responsibility to change your life, change will happen. It’s inevitable. Change is the only consistent.

Are you ready to make those important changes to transform your life and the lives of those around you? Are you ready to set yourself free?

Contact me for a free consultation and let’s work together.

Kam Birdee
Catalyst for Change

Wisdom Teacher ☆ Healer ☆ Coach ☆ Hypnotherapist ☆ Writer

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